Time, talent and treasure. Three words that we are all familiar with when we volunteer in the many ministries at St. Albert, and no less so when volunteering to coach in our children’s sports programs. Time is the most obvious of what we give. A coach involves himself in practice at least once and usually twice, or more, times a week, and then again on game days. Talent is shown in the coach’s knowledge and skill in a sport, or more importantly, in his or her ability to interact, guide and motivate our children. And, although it is not required of our coaches, many give up their treasure for end of season activities or in acquiring coaching aids.
In addition to giving of our time, talent and treasure, as coaches we must realize our responsibility in shaping the attitudes of our children towards not just sports, but also to life and to all of God’s children. Remember, football is often used as a metaphor for life with its ups and downs, highs and lows and knocks and triumphs on the way to achieving one’s goals. Young children are taught to share by their families and in school, but the first place they encounter the need for teamwork is usually when they begin participating in sports. Therefore coaches must be very careful in the messages they give and the attitudes they portray.
The one issue in youth sports that probably causes the most problems is the attitude towards winning, more specifically – the coaches’ attitude towards winning, or losing. Nobody wants to lose, and we must teach our children to always try their best, to work hard to help the team, and to work on improving their abilities. We want them to never give up, build character and have faith in their team and themselves. But if we put all the emphasis on winning, that winning is the only thing, then we lose site of the lessons we are trying to teach. A “winning at all costs” attitude cannot coexist with a sense of fair play and sportsmanship.
Boys and girls want to play games – because it’s fun. The only way to make sure you go undefeated is to not play, and if you don’t play you can’t have any fun. As coaches the important thing is to encourage the kids to have fun through playing – that is the environment in which they can prosper and do their best. It has been my observation that winning is often more important to the coaches and parents than it is to our children. At the end of a game that has been lost the players may be disappointed and some may even be upset, but by the next day it is often forgotten. Adults would do well to also react the same way. Coaches should look at every game, won or lost, as a learning opportunity and help the children do the same.
A great deal of attention has been given to the state of youth sports, both nationally and in our local community, during the past year. It has caused myself to take a look at my own attitude, as a coach, towards winning. Before each game I have said the Team prayer (see aside) with my players. This prayer, I feel, projects the right attitude, at the right level and in a fun way for children. I have told my teams that I want them to play to win, but once the game is over the result doesn’t matter. All that is important is that they have done their best. I have also noticed that the more successful a team is, the more everyone (especially parents and coaches) expects to win, the more important it becomes to win and losing becomes unacceptable. This is unfair to the children!
In reflection on my ministry at St. Albert’s as a coach, I am resolving to talk less of winning and more of having faith in themselves and doing their best for the team. I will encourage the children to play every game in such a way that at the end of each one, regardless of the result, they can feel that they did the best they could. Then we will all be winners.